Outside the marginals

a commentary on the politics that followed the UK 2010 & 2015 elections

On the Precipice; No one likes us, it’s OK

What will happen on Thursday 23 June 2016 – the day of the EU In/Out Referendum promised to the Euro-septics? More importantly what happens afterwards?

We are told it’s going to be OK. The remain team’s warnings are overblown and can be dismissed (“dismiss” is the Leave team’s reflex reaction to anything Remain says) and we will have freedom! (Think Braveheart – staring Nigel Farage and Buffo Johnson)

I guess it will be OK – if you are English, don’t rely on migrant labour to care for you in hospitals or care homes and don’t eat food picked by migrant labour.

No seriously, it’s OK, we won’t be sending £350M a week to the EU (as if we ever did) and we are going to spend it on the NHS instead – the bus (see BBC News – endlessly) says so. Others say the money will be spent on agricultural support, regional support, and science – all the good things that the EU funds.

It’s OK, they’ve found a magic money tree – in the same place as all the wonderful free trade deals that will immediately appear. Seriously, the EU exports so many BMW’s to us that Germany will insist on a free trade deal for us (even though we currently export a greater proportion of our output to Europe than Europe does to us). So it’s OK even if you work in an industry that depends on exporting to our neighbours. It will be OK – just #Believe! (sorry wrong Euro – different planet)

It’s OK, we are so special that the EU will cut us a better deal than that they have done with Norway (they pay for access to the free market by accepting regulations, paying hard cash and accepting free movement). After all if we get a better “a la carte” deal, others won’t demand an “a la carte deal”, we’re Great Britain (where is that old imperial confidence) – and we will have taken back control.

It’s OK, we will control our borders again. The Channel will once again be “the English Channel” – a protective moat. Quite how we stop migrants travelling via the Irish Republic and crossing that sensitive border, I don’t know. But, it’s OK, we can build a wall. If Trump can build one on the Mexican border, it can’t be beyond us to build one between Northern Ireland and the Irish Republic. We can even pay for it by confiscation of migrant assets – I think that’s what Trump is planning to do.

It’s OK, once the Scots see what we do to the Irish they won’t risk voting for independence and getting their own wall. Seriously who wants to be a country isolated off the North West coast of the continent?

It’s OK, we will no longer have any control over what happens in the EU – it can go to hell in a hand cart – what happens to our neighbours doesn’t matter. If it suffers economic collapse, it’s not as if people will try to migrate to the wonderful economic power house that we will have become (they will probably try to go over that big land border into the old soviet republics; yes, that sounds plausible).

It’s OK, we will no longer be flooded by migrants – they won’t be welcome here. And public services will be fine – it’s not as if they are already being starved of funding in the name of austerity. There may be a few problems with the lunatic fringe (think “breaking point”) – let us call them the Faragistas. But they will let those pesky “European” foreigners know they should go home. (Doing “our” dirty work for us, believing all migrants are probably like those Mexicans that Trump speaks of.) Perhaps all EU citizens will have to be marked until they go – five pointed yellow stars?

It’s OK, we can boycott their businesses to make sure they do go home – we can postpone some of our plumbing and building repairs at least until we have trained up lots of English apprentices and found sufficient skilled craftsmen to train them. (It’s OK we can probably borrow some from other countries – only temporary, so it won’t count as migration.)

We will be independent, we will be different, we won’t owe anyone anything. We will breath our own clean air, fish in our own pure seas. We will be sovereign!

“No one likes us, we don’t care”.

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